Recently 2 sort of exes have both messged me the exact same message - "I've been thinking about you a lot recently." "Can we meet up to chat?" When i say exes I mean in the modern confusing way, where you speak everyday and you dont crack on with anyone else but you aren't a official couple.
These messages made me evaluate my current single situation and whether either of them deserve a second chance. (They don't, one called me mentally unstable for having panic attacks).
I'm pretty bad at picking males. My dad says I need to give up and buy a lot of cats instead.
I've been single a year and half but I've always been talking to or dating a boy. I've hopped from one to another to another because I thought I wanted a relationship. I thought as a 22 year old girl, thats what I should be doing to set up my life. I have a decent job, I have a house, I can nearly drive, all I need is a man to complete the situation.
But I don't. I'm actually happy alone, I just never gave myself time to realise it until now. I've also realised how much I have grown in these last few months as a person.
Mentally, I feel quite comfortable in myself. I've come to the conclusion I'm not the prettiest person in the world, but I'm also not the ugliest. I'm a solid average. I've even started going out without make-up on. Before, I refused to accept any compliment because I believed it was a lie and wouldn't dare go out without a full face.
I also haven't had a panic attack in a long time and I think it's because I can just go do my own thing and don't have the pressure of another person to consider. I would try hide my panic attacks a bit from boys because I thought it wasn't their job to deal with me and i didnt want babysitting. But let's be honest if you try hold a panic attack in it comes out a lot worse and involves pulling out my own hair.
I can also do a lot more stuff myself around the house. I put up my own washing line, I fitted padlocks to my rabbit hutch and as dumb as it sounds I know where my fuse box is. I know it sets back girls like a hundred years but I used to rely boys to do it all. If you ask them to do manual jobs they want to prove there manliness and it was easer for me to let them.
I'm not bitter about boys or some crazy man hating lady, I still enjoy a good flirt. I'm just enjoying being on my own watching terrible TV shows in my jammas. And my phone battery lasts so long because I don't text people! If that isn't a win, I don't know what is.
These messages made me evaluate my current single situation and whether either of them deserve a second chance. (They don't, one called me mentally unstable for having panic attacks).
I've been single a year and half but I've always been talking to or dating a boy. I've hopped from one to another to another because I thought I wanted a relationship. I thought as a 22 year old girl, thats what I should be doing to set up my life. I have a decent job, I have a house, I can nearly drive, all I need is a man to complete the situation.
But I don't. I'm actually happy alone, I just never gave myself time to realise it until now. I've also realised how much I have grown in these last few months as a person.
Mentally, I feel quite comfortable in myself. I've come to the conclusion I'm not the prettiest person in the world, but I'm also not the ugliest. I'm a solid average. I've even started going out without make-up on. Before, I refused to accept any compliment because I believed it was a lie and wouldn't dare go out without a full face.
I also haven't had a panic attack in a long time and I think it's because I can just go do my own thing and don't have the pressure of another person to consider. I would try hide my panic attacks a bit from boys because I thought it wasn't their job to deal with me and i didnt want babysitting. But let's be honest if you try hold a panic attack in it comes out a lot worse and involves pulling out my own hair.
I can also do a lot more stuff myself around the house. I put up my own washing line, I fitted padlocks to my rabbit hutch and as dumb as it sounds I know where my fuse box is. I know it sets back girls like a hundred years but I used to rely boys to do it all. If you ask them to do manual jobs they want to prove there manliness and it was easer for me to let them.
I'm not bitter about boys or some crazy man hating lady, I still enjoy a good flirt. I'm just enjoying being on my own watching terrible TV shows in my jammas. And my phone battery lasts so long because I don't text people! If that isn't a win, I don't know what is.
Only one thing wrong with this post. You aren't just average, you have managed to get your life sorted which a lot of people your age havent and you are not average looking you are very pretty, I've had a lot of people comment on this and I am saying this because it's all true, I'm proud of you and I'm.noy just saying this cos I'm your mum xx
ReplyDeleteHahaha thanks mum xx
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